Did Coronavirus Break My Brain or Was It Already Broken
I thought I was having a decent day today. Talked to two sources on the phone. Came up with some potential ideas for stories. Took a shower. Smoked a cigarette. Then I had to video chat with my therapist. After we hung up, I spent 15 minutes retching into my toilet and an hour lyingContinue reading “Did Coronavirus Break My Brain or Was It Already Broken”
The Way We Bust Unions Now
Whole Foods, the upscale grocery store you used to shop at sometimes, as a treat, is maintaining an “interactive heat map” of its 510 brick-and-mortar locations to monitor which might be most at risk of unionization. Business Insider reports: The stores’ individual risk scores are calculated from more than two dozen metrics, including employee “loyalty,”Continue reading “The Way We Bust Unions Now”
“Far Away and Long Ago,” by Andy Orin
Fourteen years ago I was in Oxford, England, walking along a river with the ducks. I spent a lot of time walking around the city, amid the all the schools and churches and their spires, through graveyards and streets lined with shops and tourists and students, through parks and meadows with a handful of mooContinue reading ““Far Away and Long Ago,” by Andy Orin”
Introducing BRENDAN
Better Rebrand Everything Now Dumb Asshole Nitwit, or BRENDAN, is a coalition dedicated to taking credit for the work of others and parlaying that into a career in politics. We co-opt the radical demands that develop out of grassroots campaigns, exploiting the unpaid and underpaid labor of activists and organizers around the country and callContinue reading “Introducing BRENDAN”
Liberals Would Rather Lose Than Allow a Socialist to Lead
In 2017, the UK Labour Party came within 2,227 votes of winning a general election, which would have resulted in Jeremy Corbyn becoming prime minister. Had the party won just seven more seats, it would been able to form a “progressive alliance” with other, smaller parties, excluding both the Conservatives and the Democratic Unionist PartyContinue reading “Liberals Would Rather Lose Than Allow a Socialist to Lead”
A Blog About a Dog by Sarah Edwards
My foster dog has a black snout and paws the size of baseball gloves. Until a month ago he was a stray and when we go on walks he strains longingly toward other dogs, adoring, eager to learn how to be a dog. Sometimes when I look at him, I say “hold my beer” andContinue reading “A Blog About a Dog by Sarah Edwards”
Did You Know That the NYC Department of Sanitation Has an Anthropologist in Residence
Her name is Robin Nagle and she is quoted in this great story from The City about how all the rich people leaving Manhattan for their second homes has meant less garbage to be picked up, while middle class people in Queens and Staten Island being cooped up in their apartments has led to aContinue reading “Did You Know That the NYC Department of Sanitation Has an Anthropologist in Residence”
“How to Make a Grilled Cheese for Your Son,” by Casey Taylor
We’re almost out of toilet paper but bread is plentiful. The Shop N Save in the Mount Washington neighborhood of Pittsburgh has been well stocked with perishables and frozen foods, likely because the inhabitants of the neighborhood are all affluent enough that they’re ordering from Prime Now or driving to a nicer grocery store inContinue reading ““How to Make a Grilled Cheese for Your Son,” by Casey Taylor”
“Can They See Me Right Now?” by Melanie Chambers
The first time I acted without permission at work was in the second year of my high school music teaching job. My classroom was dull and windowless. Fluorescent lights beat down on a dreary mauve carpet that matched the dreary mauve acoustic panels, stapled hastily to the walls. The space, converted from a basketball gym,Continue reading ““Can They See Me Right Now?” by Melanie Chambers”
Their only purpose is to disagree / And do it publicly, amen
Great band, even better name.
“Beached Whale,” by Natalie Adler
Last week, a humpback whale washed up on the shores of Jacob Riis Park, where he was buried on the beach. Someone on a walk must have spotted the whale and called the police, which is what some people do when they don’t know what to do. Local environmental officials and the Atlantic Marine ConservationContinue reading ““Beached Whale,” by Natalie Adler”
Frances Loretta: “Can watching your beautiful little face in the corner of Zoom calls help you learn to love yourself?”
What is this mode of perception, so different from ordinary perception that it is well described as madness? How is it that when you fall in love you feel as if suddenly you are seeing the world as it really is? A mood of knowledge floats out over your life. You seem to know whatContinue reading “Frances Loretta: “Can watching your beautiful little face in the corner of Zoom calls help you learn to love yourself?””
Drew Nelles on Bernie and Coronavirus
On Tuesday, March 10th—the day of the Michigan primary—a friend and I went knocking on doors in a get-out-the-vote effort for Bernie Sanders. Stupidly, at the time, I barely noticed the growing trickle of news about coronavirus. Instead, to the detriment of my writing, schoolwork, and mental health, I was single-mindedly focused on the BernieContinue reading “Drew Nelles on Bernie and Coronavirus”
“Mindless Flavorless Objects” by Emmet White
Sitting on-top of L.L. Bean flannel covers, the Andrea Arnold directed season of Big Little Lies playing, the crumbs from a sleeve of unsalted Premium saltines rest in between my comforter and mattress. I am not alone, as they say, in this uncomfortability or this indulgence. And there is, of course, a market for thisContinue reading ““Mindless Flavorless Objects” by Emmet White”
“Oh My God, I Miss Meeting Someone I Hate,” by Katie Way
Depending on your attitude—mine is bad—it’s either eerie or heartening how easy it’s been to map real-life socializing on to the internet. Hanging out virtually is still hanging out, even if the fun is dulled by physical distance. We’re still checking in and flirting and riffing and gossiping and showing up to video call “birthday parties”Continue reading ““Oh My God, I Miss Meeting Someone I Hate,” by Katie Way”
“Heaving Mass of Humanity, Revolt!” by Kc Tejeda
These good, old, white, dead immigrants of yore are the apple of New York’s eyes. Officialdom in the guise of government and non-profit groups praise their mythic toil and docility in eulogies stained with the purple afterglow of recycled verbiage. Living and breathing immigrants, like their predecessors, are only as good as the exploitation wrungContinue reading ““Heaving Mass of Humanity, Revolt!” by Kc Tejeda”
“Michael Bloomberg Redistributed $36.37 Directly To Me,” by Matthew Phelan
If I was retiring on a 401k or a pension soon, I would probably be incredibly worried that the stock market is in freefall. The parasitic forecasters at Goldman Sachs are predicting a steep GDP collapse in the second quarter as coronavirus rules everything around us. Revisions earlier this week to their already bleak estimatesContinue reading ““Michael Bloomberg Redistributed $36.37 Directly To Me,” by Matthew Phelan”
Why Is Amazon Hiring Pharmacists?
I applied for unemployment insurance today, which has been temporarily expanded to include freelancers, and was looking through the job listings posted by the New York Department of Labor. This is an interesting one: “Per Diem Staff Pharmacist” at PillPack, a start-up Amazon acquired for $753 million last summer. According to CNBC, PillPack’s founder—himself theContinue reading “Why Is Amazon Hiring Pharmacists?”
“Circadian Rhythms,” by Fran Hoepfner
At some point in college when the conversation turned, as it was wont to do, to how everyone was “dealing with their period,” I had a friend tell me I should––no, I needed—to buy one of those hot water bottles with a cashmere cover. Cashmere! The fuck? I was twenty years old. The hot waterContinue reading ““Circadian Rhythms,” by Fran Hoepfner”
This Blog Is Still a Blog
We’ll get to it I promise we’re just anxious and angry and depressed about everything.
“My Mutual Aid Project, My Ego, and Me,” by Liz Baldwin
Last night I got an email from a TV station in Tokyo. It wasn’t addressed to me, exactly, but it was sent to an email address I created for Corona Couriers, a mutual aid project that I started earlier this month as a response to the ongoing pandemic. For almost two weeks, I have hadContinue reading ““My Mutual Aid Project, My Ego, and Me,” by Liz Baldwin”
Where Have All the Good Boys Gone
Cities hard hit by the coronavirus pandemic are running out of cats and dogs to adopt, Bloomberg reports: Muddy Paws Rescue and Best Friends Animal Society are reporting shelters they work with are either all out of or almost out of cats and dogs after a surge in applications of as much as 10-fold inContinue reading “Where Have All the Good Boys Gone”
Mike Davis on The Dig Podcast
“Before I get to the question of whether capitalism is biologically sustainable or not, let’s get straight to the biggest issue of all: incipient genocide. During the high Cold War, there was not a person on earth that wasn’t important to the struggle between the two superpowers, and both superpowers advanced visions of progress forContinue reading “Mike Davis on The Dig Podcast”
“A Blog Post About the Time I Got Psoriasis on My Dick, Diarrhea, and COVID-19,” by Jacob Bacharach
Until my senior year of college I had beautiful skin, and then my Ashkenazi heritage caught up with me, the dry cracks and unflatteringly rouged cheeks of all those generations rolling their carts into the Pale of Settlement flew out of my ancestry and onto my face and hands and, worryingly, onto a persistent littleContinue reading “”A Blog Post About the Time I Got Psoriasis on My Dick, Diarrhea, and COVID-19,” by Jacob Bacharach”
Blood Sacrifice
On Monday night, Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick told Tucker Carlson that he and other older people would be willing to risk their lives to help the country “get back to work.” “Those of us who are 70 plus, we’ll take care of ourselves. But don’t sacrifice the country,” he said. “No one reached outContinue reading “Blood Sacrifice”
“Store Shelves Empty but for Long-Stemmed Roses,” A poem by Katryce Lassle
If you’re reading this from the other sideI hope I’m famous thereI hope I’m hereFor the right reasons They halted production on the current season of BacheloretteAnd the German Big Brother cast has no idea this is happening, they’re safestWhere they are, I wonder where their heads will beWill they live-stream letting them out, breakingContinue reading “”Store Shelves Empty but for Long-Stemmed Roses,” A poem by Katryce Lassle”
Some (musical) encouragement for the earth fam from Mark Warren Jacques
“My name is Mark Warren Jacques. I am an artist and musician living in Leucadia, California. A couple days ago while self isolating and locked in my house, nursing a cold (hopefully not COVID) I started feeling a little stressed out about the Pandemic currently at hand in the world. I decided to bust outContinue reading “Some (musical) encouragement for the earth fam from Mark Warren Jacques”
And now a gif from Jacqui Shine…
Arrived in our inbox with no explanation, and thus will be enjoyed that way too. Update: Haha that’s awesome!
“Family Estrangement During a Pandemic,” by Erin Taylor
Last June, I made the decision to cut off my Dad, who still lives in Oklahoma with my Mother and little sister. This week, in light of the fast spread and high death rate of Covid-19, I made the decision to open up lines of communication, in case my mother, an “essential” employee, catches Covid-19Continue reading “”Family Estrangement During a Pandemic,” by Erin Taylor”
“Anxiety and Action Amid the Plague,” by Lucy Diavolo
It was a cold, clear night on the bay as the boat headed south from Oakland. Athena, seated at the front of the small vessel, steadied her nervous knee with her hand. She told herself the chill was what made her shiver, but she wasn’t cold in a hazmat suit, even as they sped acrossContinue reading “”Anxiety and Action Amid the Plague,” by Lucy Diavolo”
“Everybody’s TK for the TK,” by Brent Cox
Lost in the headlines of the crisis was the death of the weekend, who passed away on March 14 at the age of maybe as much as 112. Who can say? It is popularly believed that the weekend was created in New England at a cotton mill in 1908 as a concession to some workersContinue reading “”Everybody’s TK for the TK,” by Brent Cox”
“Self-Iso Brain Rot; Or, Does This Look Good?” by Harron Walker
According to [citation needed] Twitter, William Shakespeare wrote King Lear while he was quarantined because of the plague. Me? I made these cutoffs. Sure, they’re not as impressive as a play about a king (?) who lears (??), but it’s possible that, in the process of making them, I stumbled onto something far more culturallyContinue reading “”Self-Iso Brain Rot; Or, Does This Look Good?” by Harron Walker”
If you can’t see now, then you never did
Good band. Their tour got cancelled. Buy their merch.
“Care Work In a Time of Crisis,” by Katy and Martha
Katy, a daycare teacher in rural Connecticut, and Martha, a social worker in New York City, have been friends for more than ten years and sisters-in-law for five. Between coronavirus panic texts and family FaceTime sessions, the two interviewed each other about their care work jobs and workplace organizing in this chaotic time. Martha: What’sContinue reading “”Care Work In a Time of Crisis,” by Katy and Martha”
“How To Play With Kids In Your Life Over Video Chat,” by Susie Armitage
Here is a game you can play with a kid in your life over a video call: Say, “Hey, I have a question for you.” Ask them: would you rather drink apple juice or grape juice? Let’s say they go with “apple juice.” Now ask them if they would rather drink apple juice or bananaContinue reading “”How To Play With Kids In Your Life Over Video Chat,” by Susie Armitage”
“Thrownness and Death in the Age of Pandemic,” by Jon Mackenzie
He won’t hear the thing come in. It travels faster than the speed of sound. The first news you get of it is the blast. Then, if you’re still around, you hear the sound of it coming in. What if it should hit exactly—ahh, no—for a split second you’d have to feel the very point,Continue reading “”Thrownness and Death in the Age of Pandemic,” by Jon Mackenzie”
“Friends,” by Maha Ahmed
For the last week, the only person I love who I’ve been able to see in real life is my roommate. This afternoon, that changed. A dear friend of mine has been going on runs in the neighborhood, waving to friends in third-floor walk-ups from the sidewalk; today they ran to my stoop. We stoodContinue reading “”Friends,” by Maha Ahmed”
Delirious Caption Contest #2, with Matt Lubchansky
Caption this. —Matt Lubchansky
Where’s Joe
Hey, has anybody seen Joe? We’re worried about him. Joe, are you okay? Are you healthy? Are you safe? Joe? Hey, Joe? Joe! Joe. Where’s Joe. Joe, where are you. Do you need anything? A thermometer? A glass of water? A cold compress? Ginger ale? Saltines? How are you feeling? We’d like to hear fromContinue reading “Where’s Joe”
“An interview with my poet neighbors about whether or not this is a good time for poetry,” by Fran Hoepfner
Now more than ever, people are flocking to social media to share poems with a “hope this helps <3.” And it’s true, poetry can and does help in a time of uncertainty and pain. Not everyone is so lucky as me, which is to say, not everyone is getting their MFA in fiction and isContinue reading “”An interview with my poet neighbors about whether or not this is a good time for poetry,” by Fran Hoepfner”
“Bean,” by Marian Bull
A large pot of beans is one of the most satisfying things to cook when you’re working from home or otherwise home-bound. It requires little to no chopping, will bend itself to whatever is in your kitchen, and the main tasks required of the cook are “checking in on things” and “futzing around”, which areContinue reading “”Bean,” by Marian Bull”
“Corona Diary,” by Lena Solow
3/17 St pattys Work from home – trying to make sure [redacted] gets paid Phone therapy – weird, what are you supposed to say Cried bc what if [redacted] drinks themselves to death Got half and half, tortilla chips, sour candy FaceTime [redacted] Phone [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] Toast w butter and jam coffee sourContinue reading “”Corona Diary,” by Lena Solow”
“Jump in a puddle!” by Harrison Weber
Wilshire Center, Los Angeles, Calif – Why not? Just once. If you have a dryer, you can even pop your clothes in after and put them on again. Imagine it—jeans, shirt, hat, jacket, and socks—newly warm, cozy, and soft. If not you could pop them on a chair and crank the space heater. Well anyways, it wasContinue reading “”Jump in a puddle!” by Harrison Weber”
Some News Items
Item #1: At the end of January, following a private briefing hosted by the Senate Health Committee, Senator Kelly Loeffler, a Republican from Georgia, sold off millions of dollars worth of stock. She also bought between $100,000 and $250,000 in a technology company that provides teleworking software. “Concerned about #coronavirus?” Loeffler tweeted more than aContinue reading “Some News Items”
Lana Del Rey and Her Cop Boyfriend Broke Up
Imagine dating a cop: I don’t want to sound like a tough guy, but I mean, when you’re behind a known shooting suspect and he jumps out the car running, you’ve got to get out chasing. Terrible! Well, at least it’s over now.
CEO Avail for Interview
Publicists, like white blood cells, are always on the attack. In this feature, we present dispatches from the earned media world. (Publicist name redacted because publicists are, unfortunately, our comrades.) Have a good publicist email to share? Leak it to bloggingdelirium@gmail.com.
“Here Is a Blog About a Dive Bar,” by Rick Paulas
After Wednesday softball nights, we’d get a pitcher or three at a dive bar named Geo Kaye’s in Oakland, California. It was the size of a Brooklyn two-bedroom with an L-shaped bar, two shitty TVs in the corners, the same five beers on tap, and a digital jukebox that lit up the joint too much forContinue reading “”Here Is a Blog About a Dive Bar,” by Rick Paulas”
“Inconveniences at the End of the World,” by Kelly Weill
Today I did something I haven’t done since about 2010, which was to open iTunes and buy—buy!—a movie. Given the general state of things, I thought I’d treat myself to a little premium indoor entertainment. Also, the movie wasn’t available on any of dozen-odd streaming services that are constantly splintering from each other or consolidating,Continue reading “”Inconveniences at the End of the World,” by Kelly Weill”
Cancellations: March 18, 2020
Everyone in this video.
Can’t start a fire without a spark
Good band to whom you could give some money.
In conversation
Me: You know how the office of the president is like, a figurehead for the Idea of America? I think we need to designate one person right now to be a figurehead for the Idea of Fun. Brendan: Like a guy who could go around the country and party, and go on Spring Break, soContinue reading “In conversation”
We’re Just Out Here Having a Good Time
—Brady Sluder on the topic of COVID-19, via CBS News
They’ve Got a Plan for That
“For days, Mr. Kiple said, he has been getting nonstop phone calls from frantic hospital administrators, governor’s offices and other government officials looking for more machines. He’s even received inquiries from a number of wealthy individuals hoping to buy their own personal ventilators, a fallback plan in case the American hospital system buckles.”
Delirious Caption Contest #1, with Matt Lubchansky
Caption this. —Matt Lubchansky
“Is the end really that bad?” by Dominique Rémy
Having read and listened to sermons about the Book of Revelations at eight years old, one might suggest that experience prepared me for the nightmare scenario we find ourselves in today. Logically, that would assertion track. But it’s wrong. In fact, that was the moment I lost my faith, due to a combination of anxiety-relatedContinue reading “”Is the end really that bad?” by Dominique Rémy”
“Prelude to quarantine,” by Sam Adler-Bell
The other night we had an argument. I think it was about whether people tend to feel some sense of duty to perform their jobs, whether or not they hate them. (My characterization.) And that argument became an argument about our respective styles of argument: me, obsessively fixated on reiterating my point in different waysContinue reading “”Prelude to quarantine,” by Sam Adler-Bell”
Cancellations: March 17, 2020
Yesterday, on his blog, Italian philosopher Giorgio Agamben issued a chiarificazione regarding his beliefs about “the so-called coronavirus epidemic.” As any good clarification does, it began with a testy condemnation of “distortions and falsifications,” before delving into some deeper thoughts about fear and pestilence, “which, despite their clarity, will no doubt also be misrepresented.” InContinue reading “Cancellations: March 17, 2020”
Shareholder Announcement
Transparency with shareholders is a guiding value here at Delirium.blog. In light of the unfolding COVID-19 outbreak (and ongoing market tumult) we share with you here our full accelerated rollout plan for the upcoming weeks: Tuesday, March 17– LaunchWednesday, March 18– Hire staffThursday, March 19– Develop appealing, idiosyncratic editorial voice Friday, March 20– Pivot toContinue reading “Shareholder Announcement”
This is a blog about delirium
There’s a global pandemic. The economy is teetering on the edge of collapse. One line goes down, the other goes up. Many of us are stuck inside our homes, “socially distancing” ourselves so as to “flatten the curve.” Others are forced outside, risking their health in order to make rent. Socialist ideas are more popularContinue reading “This is a blog about delirium”
