Blog

The Way We Bust Unions Now

Whole Foods, the upscale grocery store you used to shop at sometimes, as a treat, is maintaining an “interactive heat map” of its 510 brick-and-mortar locations to monitor which might be most at risk of unionization. Business Insider reports: The stores’ individual risk scores are calculated from more than two dozen metrics, including employee “loyalty,”Continue reading “The Way We Bust Unions Now”

Introducing BRENDAN

Better Rebrand Everything Now Dumb Asshole Nitwit, or BRENDAN, is a coalition dedicated to taking credit for the work of others and parlaying that into a career in politics. We co-opt the radical demands that develop out of grassroots campaigns, exploiting the unpaid and underpaid labor of activists and organizers around the country and callContinue reading “Introducing BRENDAN”

Liberals Would Rather Lose Than Allow a Socialist to Lead

In 2017, the UK Labour Party came within 2,227 votes of winning a general election, which would have resulted in Jeremy Corbyn becoming prime minister. Had the party won just seven more seats, it would been able to form a “progressive alliance” with other, smaller parties, excluding both the Conservatives and the Democratic Unionist PartyContinue reading “Liberals Would Rather Lose Than Allow a Socialist to Lead”

Did You Know That the NYC Department of Sanitation Has an Anthropologist in Residence

Her name is Robin Nagle and she is quoted in this great story from The City about how all the rich people leaving Manhattan for their second homes has meant less garbage to be picked up, while middle class people in Queens and Staten Island being cooped up in their apartments has led to aContinue reading “Did You Know That the NYC Department of Sanitation Has an Anthropologist in Residence”

“How to Make a Grilled Cheese for Your Son,” by Casey Taylor

We’re almost out of toilet paper but bread is plentiful. The Shop N Save in the Mount Washington neighborhood of Pittsburgh has been well stocked with perishables and frozen foods, likely because the inhabitants of the neighborhood are all affluent enough that they’re ordering from Prime Now or driving to a nicer grocery store inContinue reading ““How to Make a Grilled Cheese for Your Son,” by Casey Taylor”

Frances Loretta: “Can watching your beautiful little face in the corner of Zoom calls help you learn to love yourself?”

What is this mode of perception, so different from ordinary perception that it is well described as madness? How is it that when you fall in love you feel as if suddenly you are seeing the world as it really is? A mood of knowledge floats out over your life. You seem to know whatContinue reading “Frances Loretta: “Can watching your beautiful little face in the corner of Zoom calls help you learn to love yourself?””

“Oh My God, I Miss Meeting Someone I Hate,” by Katie Way

Depending on your attitude—mine is bad—it’s either eerie or heartening how easy it’s been to map real-life socializing on to the internet. Hanging out virtually is still hanging out, even if the fun is dulled by physical distance. We’re still checking in and flirting and riffing and gossiping and showing up to video call “birthday parties”Continue reading ““Oh My God, I Miss Meeting Someone I Hate,” by Katie Way”

“Heaving Mass of Humanity, Revolt!” by Kc Tejeda

These good, old, white, dead immigrants of yore are the apple of New York’s eyes. Officialdom in the guise of government and non-profit groups praise their mythic toil and docility in eulogies stained with the purple afterglow of recycled verbiage. Living and breathing immigrants, like their predecessors, are only as good as the exploitation wrungContinue reading ““Heaving Mass of Humanity, Revolt!” by Kc Tejeda”

“Michael Bloomberg Redistributed $36.37 Directly To Me,” by Matthew Phelan

If I was retiring on a 401k or a pension soon, I would probably be incredibly worried that the stock market is in freefall. The parasitic forecasters at Goldman Sachs are predicting a steep GDP collapse in the second quarter as coronavirus rules everything around us. Revisions earlier this week to their already bleak estimatesContinue reading ““Michael Bloomberg Redistributed $36.37 Directly To Me,” by Matthew Phelan”

Why Is Amazon Hiring Pharmacists?

I applied for unemployment insurance today, which has been temporarily expanded to include freelancers, and was looking through the job listings posted by the New York Department of Labor. This is an interesting one: “Per Diem Staff Pharmacist” at PillPack, a start-up Amazon acquired for $753 million last summer. According to CNBC, PillPack’s founder—himself theContinue reading “Why Is Amazon Hiring Pharmacists?”

This Blog Is Still a Blog

We’ll get to it I promise we’re just anxious and angry and depressed about everything.

Mike Davis on The Dig Podcast

“Before I get to the question of whether capitalism is biologically sustainable or not, let’s get straight to the biggest issue of all: incipient genocide. During the high Cold War, there was not a person on earth that wasn’t important to the struggle between the two superpowers, and both superpowers advanced visions of progress forContinue reading “Mike Davis on The Dig Podcast”

“A Blog Post About the Time I Got Psoriasis on My Dick, Diarrhea, and COVID-19,” by Jacob Bacharach

Until my senior year of college I had beautiful skin, and then my Ashkenazi heritage caught up with me, the dry cracks and unflatteringly rouged cheeks of all those generations rolling their carts into the Pale of Settlement flew out of my ancestry and onto my face and hands and, worryingly, onto a persistent littleContinue reading “”A Blog Post About the Time I Got Psoriasis on My Dick, Diarrhea, and COVID-19,” by Jacob Bacharach”

Blood Sacrifice

On Monday night, Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick told Tucker Carlson that he and other older people would be willing to risk their lives to help the country “get back to work.” “Those of us who are 70 plus, we’ll take care of ourselves. But don’t sacrifice the country,” he said. “No one reached outContinue reading “Blood Sacrifice”

“Store Shelves Empty but for Long-Stemmed Roses,” A poem by Katryce Lassle

If you’re reading this from the other sideI hope I’m famous thereI hope I’m hereFor the right reasons They halted production on the current season of BacheloretteAnd the German Big Brother cast has no idea this is happening, they’re safestWhere they are, I wonder where their heads will beWill they live-stream letting them out, breakingContinue reading “”Store Shelves Empty but for Long-Stemmed Roses,” A poem by Katryce Lassle”

“Self-Iso Brain Rot; Or, Does This Look Good?” by Harron Walker

According to [citation needed] Twitter, William Shakespeare wrote King Lear while he was quarantined because of the plague. Me? I made these cutoffs. Sure, they’re not as impressive as a play about a king (?) who lears (??), but it’s possible that, in the process of making them, I stumbled onto something far more culturallyContinue reading “”Self-Iso Brain Rot; Or, Does This Look Good?” by Harron Walker”

Where’s Joe

Hey, has anybody seen Joe? We’re worried about him. Joe, are you okay? Are you healthy? Are you safe? Joe? Hey, Joe? Joe! Joe. Where’s Joe. Joe, where are you. Do you need anything? A thermometer? A glass of water? A cold compress? Ginger ale? Saltines? How are you feeling? We’d like to hear fromContinue reading “Where’s Joe”

“An interview with my poet neighbors about whether or not this is a good time for poetry,” by Fran Hoepfner

Now more than ever, people are flocking to social media to share poems with a “hope this helps <3.” And it’s true, poetry can and does help in a time of uncertainty and pain. Not everyone is so lucky as me, which is to say, not everyone is getting their MFA in fiction and isContinue reading “”An interview with my poet neighbors about whether or not this is a good time for poetry,” by Fran Hoepfner”

“Bean,” by Marian Bull

A large pot of beans is one of the most satisfying things to cook when you’re working from home or otherwise home-bound. It requires little to no chopping, will bend itself to whatever is in your kitchen, and the main tasks required of the cook are “checking in on things” and “futzing around”, which areContinue reading “”Bean,” by Marian Bull”

“Corona Diary,” by Lena Solow

3/17 St pattys  Work from home – trying to make sure [redacted] gets paid Phone therapy – weird, what are you supposed to say Cried bc what if [redacted] drinks themselves to death  Got half and half, tortilla chips, sour candy  FaceTime [redacted]  Phone [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]  Toast w butter and jam coffee sourContinue reading “”Corona Diary,” by Lena Solow”

Some News Items

Item #1: At the end of January, following a private briefing hosted by the Senate Health Committee, Senator Kelly Loeffler, a Republican from Georgia, sold off millions of dollars worth of stock. She also bought between $100,000 and $250,000 in a technology company that provides teleworking software. “Concerned about #coronavirus?” Loeffler tweeted more than aContinue reading “Some News Items”

Lana Del Rey and Her Cop Boyfriend Broke Up

Imagine dating a cop: I don’t want to sound like a tough guy, but I mean, when you’re behind a known shooting suspect and he jumps out the car running, you’ve got to get out chasing. Terrible! Well, at least it’s over now.

CEO Avail for Interview

Publicists, like white blood cells, are always on the attack. In this feature, we present dispatches from the earned media world. (Publicist name redacted because publicists are, unfortunately, our comrades.) Have a good publicist email to share? Leak it to bloggingdelirium@gmail.com.

“Inconveniences at the End of the World,” by Kelly Weill

Today I did something I haven’t done since about 2010, which was to open iTunes and buy—buy!—a movie. Given the general state of things, I thought I’d treat myself to a little premium indoor entertainment. Also, the movie wasn’t available on any of dozen-odd streaming services that are constantly splintering from each other or consolidating,Continue reading “”Inconveniences at the End of the World,” by Kelly Weill”

In conversation

Me: You know how the office of the president is like, a figurehead for the Idea of America? I think we need to designate one person right now to be a figurehead for the Idea of Fun. Brendan: Like a guy who could go around the country and party, and go on Spring Break, soContinue reading “In conversation”

They’ve Got a Plan for That

“For days, Mr. Kiple said, he has been getting nonstop phone calls from frantic hospital administrators, governor’s offices and other government officials looking for more machines. He’s even received inquiries from a number of wealthy individuals hoping to buy their own personal ventilators, a fallback plan in case the American hospital system buckles.”

Cancellations: March 17, 2020

Yesterday, on his blog, Italian philosopher Giorgio Agamben issued a chiarificazione regarding his beliefs about “the so-called coronavirus epidemic.” As any good clarification does, it began with a testy condemnation of “distortions and falsifications,” before delving into some deeper thoughts about fear and pestilence, “which, despite their clarity, will no doubt also be misrepresented.” InContinue reading “Cancellations: March 17, 2020”

Shareholder Announcement

Transparency with shareholders is a guiding value here at Delirium.blog. In light of the unfolding COVID-19 outbreak (and ongoing market tumult) we share with you here our full accelerated rollout plan for the upcoming weeks: Tuesday, March 17– LaunchWednesday, March 18– Hire staffThursday, March 19– Develop appealing, idiosyncratic editorial voice Friday, March 20– Pivot toContinue reading “Shareholder Announcement”

This is a blog about delirium

There’s a global pandemic. The economy is teetering on the edge of collapse. One line goes down, the other goes up. Many of us are stuck inside our homes, “socially distancing” ourselves so as to “flatten the curve.” Others are forced outside, risking their health in order to make rent. Socialist ideas are more popularContinue reading “This is a blog about delirium”